About Aunt Bea

Well, hello there!! Why so sad? Did Chevrolet stop makin' trucks? Oh, it's because you don't have a cat fine as a frog hair split four ways? Well, cheer up, little darlin' because Aunt Bea is here and locked and loaded and ready to go on home with YOU! I've done quite a lot in the first six weeks of my life. I've raised Andy T and helped with Opie and have even put up with Barney. That Barney and I always seemed to be disagreein'. He couldn't find his bottom with both hands in his back pockets. Until one day, he got a burr in his saddle and wanted to have a come to Jesus meeting, but instead, I told him, you'd just better go on and give your heart to Jesus because your ass is mine. I warned him not to have a duck fit, or I'd knock him into the middle of next week looking both ways for Sunday. He left before we could have our little talk, and as he was leaving, I told him, don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Barney knows better than to mess with Aunt Bee. Believe it or not, I really am sweet as cherry pie. Now I don't think the sun comes up just to hear me crow, but I do know I'm a real rip-snorter. Now, only come if you are serious. I don't want anyone who is going pee on my leg and tell me it's rainin'. That kind of thing really gets my goose. If you can't run with the big dogs, stay under the porch. But if you are the real deal, come on down, and let's get this two-step goin'. You lead, I'll follow. Together, our love is going to be hotter than a goat's butt in a pepper patch. Don't that just sound lovely? Can't wait to meet ya. Apply to adopt me today!

Bexar County
San Antonio, Texas